Wednesday, August 25, 2010

It's not about the's about the journey!

I've always loved that quote.  First time I heard it was during a yoga training in college.  It's one of the quotes that has always stuck with me, and I've used it to remind myself that I may not understand why God is doing certain things with my life at the time they are happening...BUT, He always pulls through and I see His vision sooner or later.
Two years ago I was at the lowest point in my life. ever.  I'd gained 100 lbs., my marriage was on the rocks, I was in the depths of an eating disorder that I couldn't control... I'd lost ME.  I'm here now to tell you... I'm back... and better than ever!  I had no clue why God was making me "really think" about dieting and why it contributed to a life long food addiction and binge eating disorder.  Now I do. 
I gained the weight to learn the real reason behind my weight gain (and loss, and gain again, only to lose again...yada yada yada).  The day I woke up and said "I'm done gaining and losing the last 35 lbs over and over, I want to know WHY I can't lose weight and keep it off"... that day is the day that changed my life.  I'll never forget my therapist telling me after I'd gained about 80 lbs, "Amy, you are doing the hard work, the work that hardly anyone does.  You are allowing yourself to eat what you want, and learn about your body instead of being on a diet.  Diets cause disorders".  I had to re-learn (if I ever really knew) to eat when I was hungry, stop when I was satisfied, and quit beating myself up if I ate something "bad".  That was what I had SO much trouble with... I was so cruel to myself.  Knowing what I know now, that's why I put up with people treating me poorly in my life at that time... because I didn't think too highly of myself.  Today, I choose to remove the toxic and negative people in my life because I'm too positive and happy to let their bad attitudes bring this girl down!!!
I have so much to celebrate.  No, I'm not at my goal weight... but I'm on my way.  I'm not giving up.  Never.

This week I was SO blessed to be voted into the KC Weight Loss Challenge!!!!  My friends, family, and their friends and family helped vote me in to 2nd place to secure my spot as a contestant!  I just found out tonight, and I'm so excited for this journey and the people I am going to meet along the way.  The 100 lbs I gained didn't do a lot for my figure, but it's done a lot for my life... and bringing inspiration & motivation to others as I find my way through this makes this ride worthwhile.
Stay tuned and I'll share more info as I know it for the KC Weight Loss Challenge. 
And if you voted for me... I cannot thank you enough for your support!!!
My BEFORE picture for the KC Weight Loss Challenge!


Amy said...

Congratulations!!! You are an amazing inspiration and I'm excited for you as you begin this new adventure!!

Holly Chavez said...

Amy, I truly mean it when I say that you are an inspiration to all of us that have struggled continue to struggle with our weight. I am praying for you on this amazing journey and I wish you the best. :) Love ya.

biz319 said...

I love that quote too - and congrats on getting in!! Can't wait to see how you do!