Thursday, September 9, 2010

Devil in a Dillons uniform

Yesterday morning I made an important decision.  One that will affect my life greatly.  It wasn't an easy one, but I knew it was the right thing to do.  You see, sometimes the hardest decisions to make are the ones we will benefit from the most.  So, I did it...

I broke up with donuts.
I have gotten in a really bad habit of grabbing them once or twice a week for breakfast and yesterday I said enough is enough! 
Part of sharing my journey is allowing myself to be a little vulnerable... and while some of you may not understand why I share some things, I must say that blogging has helped me more than it's hurt me.  Talking it out is much more beneficial (for me) than keeping this all locked up inside.
We all handle stress differently, I eat while others physically can't eat when they are stressed.  I have come a long long way, so even though I still struggle some I recognize the problem much sooner than I used to and I also figure out what is really going on and what I'm trying to solve by eating poorly.  When I'm stressed, overwhelmed, sad, etc. I still want the bad stuff... like the stuff on a "good" day I wouldn't touch.  Sometimes I induldge, other times I talk it out {my poor husband & bff}. 
I don't even really like the taste of donuts, I've actually made myself concentrate on the taste of one and really... they are pure sugar that leave me crashed in an hour and hungry.  They are good for approx. the first two bites, that's it.  But, when I'm having a bad day I'll justify "running through to get breakfast" because it's SO much faster than eating here.  Whatever Amy!  Seriously?  Driving 10 minutes out of my way to the donut shop is NOT faster than walking into my kitchen and eating a bowl of cereal. 
Can you tell I've had to get a little fierce with my "bad self"?  Cause I have.  I've had a couple crappy weeks  but they aren't worth losing (technically 'gaining') all the hard work I've put into getting this weight off.  Nothing is SO bad that it's worth going backwards and prolonging this process even longer than it's already been {September 4th was 1 year}.  So, I've gotten back to basics the last few days and I feel so much better already.  I was feeling literally SWOLLEN over the weekend, and I know it's because I wasn't drinking enough water, not getting in near enough exercise and my meal choices weren't positive either.  But, the past is in the past... I'm moving on with my "good self" and getting this weight off once and for all!
I do want to mention that I don't recommend telling yourself you CAN'T have something.  The word can't should be removed from the dictionary in my opinion because all it does is give us an excuse to LET ourselves fail.  So instead of telling myself I "can't" have donuts, I'm telling myself I'm choosing not to have them. 
Speaking of "choosing".  Last night I went to the grocery store and I'd made it through the produce section, and was headed to the Organic section when a Dillons employee comes out of nowhere with a PLATTER OF DONUTS, walks up to me and says "Would you like to try a sample?"  I politely said "No, thank you" and tried to hold back all laughter until I got out of her sight.  Kevin found me laughing (while hiding so she couldn't see me) about the irony of the donut samples being offered on the day I decided to totally remove them from my life.  Donut samples?  I have NEVER in my 28 years been offered a sample of a donut until yesterday... the day I broke up with them!!!  I said to Kev in all seriousness, that Dillons employee is actually the devil dressed up trying to "trick me" back into eating those damn things!  I am still laughing about this today, and still think it's pretty ironic. 
I've thought about this a lot (I know, some of you are thinking... donuts?  Is that what she is STILL talking about?)  I think the reason that they are such a battle for me is because for YEARS I restricted them, they were totally forbidden, and I wouldn't have dared to touch them.  If I would have I would have spent hours, days, weeks beating myself up over one stinkin' donut.  Sheesh, if I could rewind time I would take back all of the beating myself up for stupid food that now I eat, enjoy, and move on.  The key is just to not eat it everyday, or even weekly.  We can eat all food, in moderation.  UNLESS, a particular food causes you a lot of trouble.  Which in my case is the donuts.  So, I'm not going to tell you I'm never eating another donut for the rest of my life... I'm just going to avoid them like the plague:)

*I must add that it's taken me way too long to hit "publish post" on this because I'm so terrified of "my secret" getting out... I'm human, I have fears, but really... donuts?   You'll never read about me claiming to be perfect, this post proves that!


J said...

Oh Amy Amy Amy---I share your love of donuts, we have had a very rocky relationship and I like you have had to finally "break up" (love it!) with them. For me it was when we moved into this house, I thought "oh, I will be nice and get donuts for all of my family who is helping me move this am"....HA! I got an assortment of donuts (it took 2 BIG boxes up!)...I think they only at maybe 3 total---(and ya know I didnt want them to go to waste...duh!) So I ate every last single one and was miserable--not because I ate them, but literally b/c I thought I was going to explode and puke donuts everywhere. Needless to say I have not ate at a Daylight Donuts since April 26, 2010--HOLLA!!
On a completely different note---I did meet donuts great cousin--cinnamon roll--ya from the town of Gas, Station. Have you met him? We need to break up, but I just keep more :)
Miss ya girl!! Love the posts--Keep em coming!

Journey2Goal said...

You crack me up! Break up w/ cinnamon roll ASAP!:) We can keep each other strong, we don't need no stinkin' donuts!

:Deliciously Healthy said...

LOL! Good job! :D

Jess said...

I also love donuts and I as well have NEVER in my 31 years been asked to have a sample of a donut at any store anywhere! That is so ironic and the devil probably was trying to get you to fail! But the Big Guy upstairs had obviously beaten him to it by leading you to "break up" with the donuts in the first place! I love keeping up with your blog! It motivates me as well!