Monday, November 21, 2011

Grant Thomas is here!

Our son Grant Thomas arrived on Monday November 7, 2011.  I am so in love with this little boy!  I plan to share my birth story soon, but right now I'm sneaking in all the snuggles I can:)
He arrived at 7:50 am
Weighed 8 lb 8 oz
19 inches long

The two loves of my life

Friday, November 4, 2011

Almost Time

I cannot believe how fast my pregnancy has gone and how soon my little boy will be here!  I wish I had blogged more during my pregnancy, coulda woulda shoulda I guess! 
Here are some of our maternity pictures taken by the awesome Ken Doll Photography!

I cannot wait to hold our little boy!!

35 Weeks

One of my favorites! 

Next time I write our little guy will be here!  I'm feeling all things that a first time Mom feels.  Nervous, anxious, scared, excited, overwhelmed... but most of all I feel blessed.  Blessed that I've had a great pregnancy, blessed that God has given us this incredible miracle and blessed that I have an amazing spouse to be on this journey with... I cannot tell you how amazing he has been throughout my pregnancy.  I am once again reminded how lucky I am to have him next to me.
I know that my delivery is all in God's hands and He is going to take care of me and our son.  I've been spending lots of time in prayer asking for His help to ease my anxiety and fear and help me focus on this amazing little life that has been growing inside me for 9 months.  God is faithful and I know He is going to take good care of us. 

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.  James 1:17


Wednesday, July 20, 2011

23 Weeks Already!?!

I can't believe I am over halfway through my pregnancy!  At 17 weeks we found out that we are having a little BOY!  We were praying for healthy (still are, everyday), and honestly didn't care if it was a boy or girl, we just wanted to hear a good strong heartbeat and that our little baby was healthy.  Thankfully things have been going better than I'd anticipated, and besides it being the HOTTEST summer in years I'm feeling pretty good.  I have avoided the camera as much as possible but I did allow my hubby to take a picture of me at 22 weeks at my brother in laws wedding.

This little guy is growing, and so is Mommy!  Oh well, this is all part of pregnancy right?  My growing bump is a sign that this little life inside of me is thriving, and everytime I feel him move it assures me that this is truly a miracle! 
We are busy putting together the nursery and preparing for his arrival in November.  I can't wait to be a Mommy!


Friday, May 20, 2011

I've been keeping a secret...

I've been keeping a secret.  For a long time.  Some of you have been let in on the secret... others have been wondering where in the world the blog posts have gone.  Well, truth is I haven't been able to share much about my life because of this secret.  Until now.

So....  here it is!

Due November 12, 2011

I'm officially 15 weeks!  It's so true that God works in mysterious ways.  We feel blessed to of been given this "unplanned" blessing and are looking forward to watching my belly grow as our baby grows.  I'm trying to stay focused on keeping my weight down, as I wasn't planning on getting pregnant at my weight... but this was Gods plan, not mine.  All I can do is my best and take good care of this precious life growing inside of me.  (That is SO crazy!)  It's been amazing to share this with my husband.  He is going to be an amazing father... I'm a lucky lucky girl. 
Until next time, I'll take all the prayers God can handle for me to continue having a healthy pregnancy!

Friday, March 4, 2011

Fat Burnin'

Why in the world haven't I been working out with a heart rate monitor?!?  After my Metabolic Testing my trainer gave me the information I needed to know based on my current fitness level, and which zones I burn more fat vs. sugar.  My workouts have felt so good since I know how many calories I'm burning & where my heart rate is during exercise. 
For example, I did an awesome class this morning at the gym called CRT {Cardio Resistance Training}.  It was SO good!!!  The best part is my heart rate was in the fat-burning zone for the majority of the class... booyah!  That makes me SUPER happy!  It also gives me a sense of accomplishment knowing that my workout is actually "working".  The instructor kept encouraging those of us with HRM to look at our watches & make sure we were in the fat-burning zone.  I've been to tons of group exercise classes & I've never had an instructor that concerned with our heart rate so I was really impressed this morning with the instructor who taught the class.  I love my new gym.  And when you LOVE where you workout it makes it SO much easier to go! 
Do you have a heart rate monitor?  Do you know what zone you should work in to burn the most fat?


Friday, February 25, 2011

Metabolic Testing

Earlier this week I underwent Metabolic Testing at my gym.  I was really excited to see what this test would tell me about the way my body burns fat & my cardiovascular health.  As you know I workout regularly, & have since I was a sophomore in high school.  Working out is an everyday part of my life that I can't see ever giving up.  It makes me feel human... and when I don't do it I feel sluggish, lazy, bloated, etc.  So, even though I'm overweight I thought the test would tell me I'm in great shape.  UH, NO.  Not exactly.
I started the testing by sitting in a room, quietly with no distractions for 20 minutes.  Oh, and I got to wear this attractive apparatus. 
I wish I could tell you that no one saw me with this on, but nope after I sat in the room for 20 minutes to measure my Resting Metabolic Rate I had to hop on a treadmill {with the mask} and do a 10 minute exercise to measure my VO2, which essentially tells me my heart & lung fitness. 
I know that my heart rate jumps up pretty fast, and when I run it's much higher than it should be... I just thought I had a higher heart rate.  What I learned is I can train my body to burn fat sooner while working out, and for a longer period of time according to my heart rate.  Currently I burn the most calories & fat while my heart is pumping from 155-166 bpm.  According to this test if my heart rate goes over 178 bpm I'm burning NO fat... only sugar.  Do you realize how small of a window 155-166 bpm is?!?  If my heart rate goes over 178 bpm I am burning muscle, not fat... and that isn't what I want.  I want to build muscle & burn fat!  This doesn't mean I can't ever go over 166 bpm, it's just not somewhere I want to stay while working out.  (This is where interval training is beneficial)
Another part to the test told me that my Peak VO2 is 26.4 ml/kg/min.  Can I be humble and tell you that this low score doesn't even register on the scale that he gave me?  Which means that for my age my body is in poor shape.  Do you know how frustrating that is for me to hear when I spend as much time at the gym as I do?  After he gave me the results I looked at him and said "So, basically you are telling me that I don't burn fat efficiently and I'm in bad shape"... he said "Yes".  Awesome.
The good news is now I am set up with a heart rate monitor and we are going to be training in different zones to help my body burn fat better based on the information I got from the tests.  He told me even though I've been working out HARD, I haven't been working out SMART.  There IS a difference!  He said lots of people workout a lot, but they aren't doing the right workouts for their body.  After getting this testing it made me realized that running isn't the best workout for me to do because I'm only burning sugar while running, not fat.  My heart rate is usually 190-200 bpm while running and to be honest, it's never been easy for me.  I have friends who run miles and miles and feel awesome... that is not me, never has been... but my trainer assured me that it CAN be, once I do some training to prepare my heart and lungs to run.
I'll keep you posted on the change in workouts, I know it's going to be different than what I'm used to but I'm excited for that.  I'm even more excited to start seeing results again.  The scale not moving has been frustrating, but I'm being proactive about finding out what I can do to jumpstart it again and can't wait to get out of the 200's!


Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Blog Therapy

I think my post yesterday worried some people.  I didn't write it to get attention, or worry anyone... my blog is a space for me to talk about what's going on, and it's become therapeutic for me.  Sometimes when I sit down to do a post I don't think about it too much, I just let my mind go and my fingers follow on the keyboard.  That's what I did yesterday, and to be honest it really did help.
Things are not perfect right now, but it's all going to get better.  We've had a disaster with the contractor who did our hardwood floors and caused damage in our home.  We're dealing with this disaster daily and it seems like everyday the situation is getting worse instead of coming any closer to a solution.  That is the root of what's wrong right now but other little things are adding up quickly.  So when I spend my day upset about the circumstances we've had in our home I'm already a little upset, and it doesn't take much to send me into a whirlwind of anger & emotions.  That's what happened yesterday.  Someone else was having a bad day, took it out on me and I let someone elses bad day make mine miserable.  THAT was my fault.  I should know better than to let someone else have that kind of control in my life.
I have a lot of adjusting to do.  Moving to a new city has been difficult and I'm living totally differently than I am used to.  I'm used to working 40 hours a week and going 190 mph... my schedule is still busy but it's been a different kind of busy, and I'm dealing w/ a different kind of stress.  To be honest it's felt almost worse than "work stress" though!  I would have NEVER imagained that!  BUT, life is moving on.  I am moving on and I know that "what goes up must come down" so life will get to normal... it's just not going to be in my timing.  Once I give up control I know God will prevail, He will take this load off my shoulders.  I trust Him.
Thanks to those of you who took the time to call, text, email me and make sure I'm okay.  I really didn't mean to worry anyone... I just needed a little writing therapy:) 
How do you deal with stress?  Do you write?  Eat? Talk?


Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Pity Party Invite

I've been MIA for awhile.  Life has gotten in the way a bit and I've taken a break from the blog.  This afternoon though I am staring out my kitchen window, in tears, praying that God starts taking some of the stress out of my life... or helps me deal with it.  We've had one thing after another since our move.  I'm feeling a little helpless, a little out of control and to be honest, a little pissed off.  I just want my life to return to normal.... or our "new normal" I guess.  Instead everyday has been filled with something else going wrong, someone else hurting my feelings, someone piling more on my plate, etc.  When is it going to end?!?  Or when can I stop being so damn sensitive?
Sorry, I'm totally throwing myself a pity party here... guess you got invited if you follow my blog.  I try to remain positive, especially here... but I'm not perfect, I never try to portray that my life is perfect and I have no problems, but I don't like reading negative posts so I try to refrain from being a negative blogger.  Sometimes though, a girl's got to vent and get all the raw emotion out there.  I'm hoping this "vent session" will help me feel a little better.
The last few weeks have been very stressful, and it's gotten to me more than it probably would have but I think it's because I'm so overwhelmed and upset with all that has happened since we've moved.  Seriously, I can't take anymore.  I either need a vacation or a bottle of wine (I think I might need both!). 
I know God is teaching me patience right now... and it's obvious I'm not learning it very easily.  I just need to take some deep breaths, I know life can't stay like this forever... it's bound to turn around... I just hope that happens soon cause it's wearing me out.
Thanks for listening... hopefully my next post will be much more uplifting with something positive to say.  I'm on the lookout for something to celebrate right now & you'd better believe I'll share it when something positive happens. 


Tuesday, February 15, 2011

I've Seen Better Days

I heard a song on The Biggest Loser tonight that really spoke to me.  Music is therapy for me, when I find a song I can relate to it can help me through a lot. 
"Give me an answer, Give me a way out, Give me the faith, To believe in these hard times"
These were the lyrics that caught my attention tonight, they are words I needed to be praying to God instead of sitting here feeling sorry for myself.

It's been a rough few weeks.  We are adjusting to a new city, I'm adjusting to unemployment, we've made lots of changes to our house including new flooring & new paint so we've had lots of people in and out working.  The previous owners also left this house in a state that we haven't really appreciated.  It was pretty dirty, lots of trash in the garage that I had to pay to have hauled off, and the most irritating problem was the opened can of oil that was in a grocery sack that my husband picked up to take to the trash that ended up all over his work clothes.  We didn't know it was oil, didn't know it was an open container either and by the time we realized it it was too late... so we donated pants and shoes to the trash bin that day too.
In the midst of all this change (and irritations) we've had a slight disaster occur.  This past weekend our ceiling began leaking water.  We couldn't figure out where it was coming from & we called our home warranty company out at 10pm on Friday night to try to locate the problem.  He didn't find anything, told us it could be our siding but he didn't know.  The leaking stopped until Saturday afternoon and that's when we realized exactly how big of a disaster we had on our hands.
I was putting things away in our spare bedroom and noticed the floor was wet.  I first thought one of my dogs had an accident on the carpet and was getting ready to chew some "tail"... that was until I walked another step to realize that I was standing in water... on my new carpet.  I freaked out.  That morning I noticed our NEW hardwood floors looked like they were warping, but I was just keeping an eye on it & was too busy to really look at them.  After finding the water in the spare bedroom I knew the problem was not our siding... it was something IN our house.  A lightbulb went off... The carpet, hardwood floors and basement ceiling are all in the same vicinity of our home... and at the center of it all sat our refrigerator. 
I have hated this refrigerator since we looked at this house.  It's a piece of work let me tell you.  I told my husband when we bought this house that a new fridge was at the top of the list cause this one is ancient.  Well... I should have gotten that new fridge sooner cause the pipe had a leak and that's what has ruined my new carpet, new hardwood floors and it's also why I have 2 very large holes in my ceiling due to the water damage it's caused.  Thankfully they told us we'd done everything right, we caught it early and everything can be fixed.  Guess that's good news.

While I'm thankful that this small disaster is all reversible it just adds to the stress of everything else that has gone on with moving.  I feel overwhelmed and stressed.  So hearing the words "Give me the faith to believe in these hard times" was just what I needed to hear.  (Cause right now all I'm hearing are 6 commercial grade fans and 2 commercial grade dehumidifiers that will be here for 6 days).
Life is not always what we plan.  And it's not always easy to roll with the punches either.  This disaster has taken time away from working out & meal planning... two crucial parts to my weight loss.  BUT, I am taking everything ONE day at a time.  It's all going to be ok.  I know that.  I also know that compared to what many people have going on my small disaster is nothing.  So, tomorrow is a fresh start.  I'm starting the day at the gym and that always makes me feel better.  I'm not giving up on my weight loss just because I've had "life" get in the way.  The scale might not be moving much but it's not going UP, and I am going to celebrate that with all that we've had thrown at us.  Like I've said before I'm doing this as my lifestyle, this isn't a diet.  Life doesn't stop when we decide to take charge of our health, get the extra weight off, etc.... we grow when we stay committed and push through the hardships.  Having a never give in, never give up attitude is what will push me towards my goal weight... and that's a dream I will never let go of.


Sunday, February 13, 2011

Watch me Burn

I found out last night that I am in the February/March issue of the KC Fitness Magazine!  I knew I was going to be in the issue after the Weight Loss Challenge but I didn't know I'd be in 2!  Needless to say I couldn't wait to get to Barnes & Noble today to pick up my own copy!  If you live in the KC area you should pick up the magazine and read the stories of the 13 Contestants.  It's exciting that I'm getting to share my journey with others and I hope my story helps someone else find the courage to take charge of their health.
Here's my page in the magazine!!
We are finally getting somewhat settled in our new home.  So, I ventured out on Friday and joined a gym.  Having a gym membership was just as important to me as finding a church, a grocery store, a bank, etc.  Working out is part of my everyday life, and when I don't make the time to do it I don't feel like "me".  I felt a little lost without a gym to go to the first week here so I was really excited when I finally had the time to go join one.
I joined Life Time Fitness which has more than 90 locations in 20 states... if you have one near you I hope you check it out because it's awesome!  There are tons of classes offered and I can't wait to try them out!  Not to mention it is an impressive facility with tons of cardio equipment, a salon, a cafe, etc!  They have a yoga studio also and I am anxious to add yoga back into my workout schedule.  My back is aching after moving so I think I'm going to indulge in a yoga class and maybe a massage in the near future.  I plan to take a few strength training classes this week too.  I don't make time for strength, hardly at all.  That's something I really need to work on and I hope that with all the classes offered it'll be easier for me to include it in my workouts.  I always feel better when I strength train because I can see results faster... and who doesn't like nicely toned arms & legs!?!  Sheesh... that just reminded me that warmer weather is coming soon & these arms are going to be seeing the sun again.  I think it's a good thing I'm going to start hitting the weights this week!!

Friday, February 11, 2011


I'm not a Mom.  Someday I will be.  But I have lots of Mommy friends, my sister is a Mommy now too.  I've watched their lives change as they bring beautiful babies into this world.  I've watched them soften, love deeper, be more compassionate, worry more. When I saw this video I cried, because I'm still looking at Motherhood in the "before" stage.  I find myself wanting to do everything on my "To Do Before Becoming a Mommy" list and many times I convince myself that everything will align, everything will be perfect and THEN we'll have a family.  Many of you out there who are mothers know that it's never the perfect time... maybe that would be the card I'd hold up if I was on the "other side" of Motherhood.  "There Will NEVER Be the Perfect Time to Become a Mother... but it's always in God's Time".


Thursday, February 10, 2011

Week 5- KC Weight Loss Challenge

Hi there!  Remember me?!  I know I haven't posted in a LONG time!!  We've had a crazy couple weeks & I honestly haven't had a free second to sit down and write a post until tonight. 
This Tuesday was Week 5 in the KC Weight Loss Challenge... and I gained 1 pound.  I am not upset about this because of everything going on right now.  In the last 2 weeks I've quit my full time job, left my hometown, moved to a new home that we are remodeling and we moved away from family and friends.  Needless to say I've had other things on my plate besides this Challenge.  To be honest I'm pretty pumped that all I gained was 1 pound!  I haven't had access to my kitchen until tonight... and I moved here a week ago!  We've eaten out almost every meal (can I tell you how crappy I feel because of that?!?)  I cannot wait to go to the store tomorrow and stock up my house with GOOD HEALTHY food! 
You can see my video below for my Week 5 thoughts.  I'm not out of the Challenge, we all weigh in in the final week which is March 29th.  I am going to COMMIT right now that I WILL be UNDER 200 lbs... hopefully WAY under that!
My Week 5 KC Weight Loss Challenge Video


Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Perfect Timing

This is the week we've been waiting for!  We are moving this week & we are so ready to get to our new house and get settled!  Kev is ready to cut his commute in half and I'm anxious to start working my Arbonne business full time.  It's gonna be so good... if we can get through this...
 I can't believe we are in the midst of the worst winter storm in a decade!  And we are supposed to move in this?!?  Tomorrow the low is -2... and the high...  8 whopping degrees.  On moving day {Friday} it's going to be a crisp 28 degrees... which means that the 5-10 inches of snow we are accumulating right now won't be melted when we are moving all of our belongings into our new house!  Sounds like fun huh? 
Needless to say... we could use a few prayers for God to warm up the forecast a bit!


Friday, January 28, 2011

Texting... It Can Wait

I dare you to take 10 minutes and watch this video. I dare you to let it change your life and I dare you to love yourself enough to quit texting while you are driving.

SchoolTube - AT&T The Last Text Documentary


Wednesday, January 26, 2011

I Like to Move It, Move It

We are moving in one week!  I am excited for the future and what lies ahead, but I'm also a little sad to leave our home now.  There's going to be lots of change- we are moving from a ranch style home to a California split, moving to a new town, I'm leaving my current job to pursue my Arbonne business full time, etc. 
Lots of change... exciting change.

I can't wait to UNpack and live like a normal person again!

Monday, January 17, 2011


My friend Jessie gave me a blogger award!
I don't know how "stylish" I am but I'll take it!  Jessie and I went to college together & are sorority sisters.  She has a great blog Journey to Fit & Fabulous so please go check it out!

Along with this award comes some responsibilities......
1. Thank and link back to the person who awarded you this award.
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Award 15 recently discovered bloggers.
4. Contact these bloggers and tell them about the award!
7 Things About Me
  1. I am moving in less than 3 weeks! Yikes!
  2. I have sold Arbonne for over 5 years.
  3. I love spinning!
  4. I used to teach yoga.
  5. I discovered Angry Birds this weekend... now I'm addicted.
  6. I love photography.
  7. I've already read 4 books this year!

Here are the 15 Bloggers I'm awarding that I've recently discovered!
  1. Lacey @ Bugs & Kisses
  2. Young House Love
  3. Tori @ FiTori
  4. Shawna @ styleberry BLOG
  5. The Book Vixen
  6. Jess @ Running Between the Lines
  7. Keeping Up with Katie
  8. Watch my Butt Shrink
  9. Aly @ Analyze This
  10. Funky Junk Interiors
  11. The Best of Both Worlds
  12. Kitchen Betty
  13. Fitting Back In
  14. Booking Mama
  15. House of Smiths


2011 Reading Challenge

I am so glad I've started taking more and more time to read.  I love finishing an awesome book, sharing it with a friend, then talking about what we loved, hated, didn't understand, etc.  I discovered a Reading Challenge today & got totally excited to participate!  As I try to create more balance in my life, I want to make sure to carve out time for me.  Time I enjoy, and I really enjoy reading.  So, if you'd like to join along in the challenge visit the Book Vixen's blog & sign up.  Or, if you just want to see what I'm reading go to the "Books I Love" at the top of the page and you can keep tabs on the books I'm reading in 2011.  
Happy Reading!


Sunday, January 16, 2011


Sometimes you just have to let go.  I've had to do that the last few weeks.  And it's so hard for me.  I function at 110 mph, I always have a full schedule, and there is never enough time in my day.  Sadly, my husband is usually the one who gets to see me breakdown because I just can't go anymore.  I'm tired of being that kind of person, I need balance.
As a woman I think many of us think we can do it all.  We want to be needed, it's how we feel loved.  Then we break down though, stressed & upset that we've given our all to everyone else and not left much for ourselves.  I've watched my own Mom do this for so many years and I've learned an important lesson in watching her give, give give.  It's ok to give, we should be givers, but we can't do it all.  We have to learn to let go of things.  Clear the schedule.  Take time to relax.
We move in less than 3 weeks.  I am doing the KC Weight Loss Challenge and I have watched the other contestants workout 2x a day, and I've just had to give that "dream" up.  My life is so busy right now with moving that it's all I can do to get to the gym once a day!  I've had to remind myself that this is my journey, and as long as the scale is going down I'm not going to judge the number by how much I'm losing... cause a loss is a loss.  I've had to give up some things that I love doing to focus on our move and this challenge... and it's been hard.  Saying no is near impossible for me.  But, it's a learning process.  I believe I can do anything I really put my mind to... but no, I can't do everything. 
Have you had to prioritize your life?  How do you find balance? 


Monday, January 10, 2011

Snow Day Workout

It snowed like crazy here today!  It's STILL snowing!
 My Pups love the snow:)
Because of the snow my workout plans got changed so I wasn't able to make it to the gym today.  Instead, I worked out with Bob Harper! {I would love to tell you he was actually here, but he wasn't... just his DVD}
I shouldn't say I just settled because this workout totally kicked my butt!! Like seriously whooped me!  I did the  Bob Harper: Cardio Conditioning DVD from his Inside Out Method series.  This morning I did the 25 minute workout, tonight I did the 60 minute workout on this DVD.  All I can say is WOW.  I was gasping for breath within the first 10 minutes tonight, but I pushed through for the entire 60 minutes.... and I was so thankful I was in the privacy of my own home and not at the gym!  For a sneak peek of this workout you can watch the video below.

Because of the weather our first weigh in for the KC Weight Loss Challenge is canceled tomorrow morning so we won't be meeting until next Tuesday, which is also when eliminations start! Yikes!  I've ate well, got in good exercise and drank much more water than I had been so hopefully I'll have positive results next week.  No matter what the scale says I know I'm giving this 110% and doing all I can to get results... that's all I can do!

Saturday, January 8, 2011

What is the KC Weight Loss Challenge?

I'm in my first week of the KC Weight Loss Challenge hosted by the Kansas City Fitness Magazine.  I've had a few people ask me what the challenge entails so I thought I'd share with you a little more about the 12 week journey I've just begun. 
There are 13 contestants, and all of us were voted in on Facebook by our friends after sharing our story and why we want to be a part of the challenge.  It started on January 4th and ends March 29th.  Our weigh-ins are on Tuesday mornings in KC.  After the weigh in we will be interviewed about the week- the progress we've made, any challenges we are faced with, our motivation, etc.  You'll be able to follow our weight loss journey and see our video blogs on the KC Fitness Magazine website.  Some of the contestants have trainers, I don't, but since my degree is Health Promotion I thankfully know what I'm doing:)  When I move to KC in February I will probably get a trainer since they are more accessible there for the Challenge.
There is no special diet or fitness program that we are on- everyone is on their individual journey.  We are being monitored by an M.D. so we will know how our overall health has improved after the 12 weeks, not just our weight.  At the end of the challenge our journey will be in the KC Fitness Magazine along with our before and after pictures.

What does this Challenge mean to me?
I've been on a journey to lose 105 lbs since September 2009.  As of September 2010 my weight loss was 50 lbs... but I've gained back a little since then:(. 
September 2009 {254.7} to September 2010 {204.6}
 That is why I am doing this Challenge.  I need the accountability, support and encouragement to continue on this journey instead of giving up after a little setback.  I've been a yo-yo dieter since 4th grade, and 2 years ago I swore I'd never diet again after learning I had Binge Eating Disorder... and even though I'm in this challenge I am staying true to that.  I'll never forget the first time I heard "diets cause disorders", I finally understood my struggle!  It IS possible to lose weight and not deprive yourself.  It's called a LIFESTYLE CHANGE.  I am not going to do anything during this challenge that I can't continue to do after March 29th.  SO, you won't hear me going on an all liquid diet, cutting out all carbs, exercising 6 hours a day, etc.  It's not realistic for me to live that lifestyle & I know that if I let myself fall into the "diet trap" I'll end up suffering again with my eating disorder.  It's not worth it and I've come to far to end up back there again.

First weigh in for KC Weight Loss Challenge {217}
My goals
Goal setting is so important!  My goals might be different than the other contestants, in fact I'm sure we are all driven by different goals... that's what makes this so much fun!
I want to stay focused on HEALTH.  It's very easy to get wrapped up in the number on the scale, and I do not want to get obsessive about it.  I am using Jillian Michaels Master Your Metabolism as a guide for my eating... BUT, in NO WAY am I considering it a diet.  I have learned to listen to my body, and if I'm hungry (which means PHYSICAL hunger, so my tummy is growling) then I'm going to eat.  Diets don't allow you to do that, and I lived like that way too long... and after every "diet" the weight piled back on.  If I deprive myself too long I'll just end up bingeing and I'll find myself in the binge cycle all over again. {no thank you!}
I want to focus on FITNESS.  I love to workout, thank goodness!  I hate to miss my workouts and feel so much better after a good sweatfest!  I am going to kick my workouts up a notch and do a minimum of 300 minutes of cardio per week.  I need to add more strength training to my fitness routine, for some reason I really struggle getting that in and it's just as important (if not more) as cardio.
I want to INSPIRE.  There is no point in having this blog if I can't help one person off the couch.  That is why I blog.  That is why I wanted to be a part of this Challenge.  I could have kept my entire journey to myself, held it all in & never shared with anyone why I gained 100 lbs and the struggles I've had... but how does that help anyone?  After all I've been through I'd at least like to help prevent someone else from going through it!  It has felt SO GOOD to share my story and encourage others to take charge of their health.

SO, what are you waiting for?  Why don't you join me during this Challenge?  Don't let another year pass you by that you wished you would have started to run, gotten off the baby weight, the Freshman 15, fill in the blank.  Whatever it is you want, you can have.  Just take it one day at a time and before you know it you'll be in your skinny jeans. 
I'll be posting about my journey and I'd love to see where the next 12 weeks could take you! 

I also want to say thank you for all of the encouraging messages, emails & texts I've gotten about my weight loss journey.  Your kindess motivates me, it keeps me working towards my goals and I cannot thank you enough for being a part of this journey with me. 


Friday, January 7, 2011

Fill in the Blank Friday!

Today is Friday.  Can you hear me screaming TGIF @ the top of my lungs?  Cause I am.
I don't have tons of time or energy for a post today so I'm letting myself off easy and joining Lauren for Fill in the Blank Friday.
The questions are pretty ironic since the weather in Kansas is going to get all weird this weekend... especially since it's sunny & windy here now... don't worry, we'll have 3-6 inches of snow here by Sunday! (at least that's the forecast, but once again, we are in KS... no telling what can change in the next 48 hours)
1.  Winter is not my favorite time of year.  I don't mind a little chill.  But, when the wind is blowing 40 mph and the wind chill is below zero it's pretty tough for me to put a smile on my face.  I do love wearing jeans & hoodies though.  And, this is the first winter I've had UGGS so I must say that my feet are thankful for this upgrade in footwear!

2.  Summer is always busy.  The older I get the less I LOVE summer.  I love fall & spring when it's mid 70's.   I do enjoy summer though because we spend time at the Lake of the Ozarks and I love it there.  I love sitting on the screened in porch in the morning with my dogs @ my parents lake house, venturing out on the lake on a nice summer day, visiting Spa Shiki (oh yes, it's amazing), going to dinner on the water.  Lake life is much more simple.  If I were my parents I wouldn't spend another day working here... I'd be living on the lake all year!  It's the most peaceful place I know.

3.  If it were summer instead of winter right now I'd be excited to exercise outside after work instead of in the gym.

4.  My favorite thing to do in winter is get home from work, put on my sweats and cuddle up on the couch with my family and watch shows on my DVR or read a book.

5.  My favorite thing to do in the summer is go to the Lake of the Ozarks.  Visit friends.  Go on vacation somewhere new.  BBQ outside with my hubby.  Take the dogs on walks on Saturday mornings before it gets hot.  Wear flip flops every day!

6.  The ideal outfit on a sunny summer day is capri's with a tank top and flip flops.  I don't wear shorts.  Ever.

7.  The ideal outfit for a frigid winter day is sweatpants, UGGS & a hooded sweatshirt with a layer underneath accompanied by a Peppermint White Mocha from Starbucks to warm me on the inside:)


Thursday, January 6, 2011

Losing for Baby

I am 28 years old.  I've been married for 5+ years to a man I adore.  {We have our marriage squabbles like any other couple, so I won't claim that we're 'perfect' but I DO love him SO much.} 
We have an "Emergency Fund".  We own a home (and are about to move into a new one).  My husband has gotten his MBA so school is out of the way.  We don't have debt.  You might be asking why am I "gloating" or "bragging".  First off, that's not the intent of this post whatsoever so quit judging me.
I tell you these things because on the outside it seems like we have it all together.  What more could we ask for?  And the BIG question...Why in the world are we not parents yet?  I get asked this all the time.  Life is not about what everyone else sees.  It's about what's on the inside.  What makes us tick.  What drives us, motivates us, inspires us.
Even though we have so many great things going for us, we are missing (in my opinion) a HUGE piece of the puzzle.  ME & HEALTHY.  Yes, I workout.  Yes, I TRY to eat healthy.  But, I struggle.  Like seriously struggle.  In fact, I've gained 15 lbs. back in the last few months.  I have always been a yo-yo dieter, but a few years ago I came to terms with the fact I have Binge Eating Disorder.  Me and about 4 million Americans struggle with this E.D. daily.  I will always be in recovery.  It will never go away.  I will always have to stay focused and motivated and I'm ok with that... but it's not going to own me anymore.
Last August I took a leap of faith, and we actually got pregnant the first month.  I was so scared, excited, overwhelmed, anxious.  I was still overweight but I trusted that God was calling us to be parents.  Three days after finding out I was pregnant, I had a miscarriage.  I was devastated. heartbroken. angry. sad. lost.  What do we do now?  We were told different things by my OB, the ER Dr., my PCP.  I got so frustrated by all the different "advice" that I finally decided to say "It's up to me what we do.  And we are waiting".  I will never know why we miscarried.  I was an early 5 weeks, but it was still a baby, and I still felt a loss just like a Mom who loses a baby at 10/20/30 weeks.  I made the commitment to myself that I would do everything I could to prevent this from happening again by becoming as healthy as I can. (I don't know if my weight caused it, I will never know what did) That's what I'm doing now.
It's not enough for me to have our finances look good on paper, or a nice home to bring a baby into.  It's so much more important to be a healthy role model for our babies & to have a healthy body to carry a LIFE inside of me for 9 months.  Plus, the healthier that I am when I get pregnant means I have a head start after the delivery.  That is worth the wait.  I read a post today on styleberry Blog that made me feel so good about the choice I've made for us.  Waiting is hard.  Especially when everyone around you is pregnant, or has kids. Especially looking at my husband and knowing that the one thing he wants most is to be a Dad.  I know he will.  Someday.  And I'll be a Mom.  Someday.
The point of this post is to bring awareness to the fact that just because someone might be older, married & financially secure doesn't mean they don't want a baby {and some people have all of these things and DON'T want kids... and that's totally okay too}.  Maybe they are working on getting there physically, emotionally, mentally.  Or, maybe they ARE trying to have a baby and don't want to share the struggle with everyone.  Whatever the reason, it's personal.  It's their choice.  Give us a break... we'll become Mommy's in GOD's time.  And even though that might not be the same as our time I'm confident with God lighting the path that everything will work out just the way it was intended to.


Wednesday, January 5, 2011

KC Weight Loss Challenge Website

The KC Weight Loss Challenge began yesterday!  If you want to follow my journey you can go to the Kansas City Fitness Magazine's website.  My video is officially up this afternoon! 
Just click on my picture when you get to the website {it's the 2nd one from the left} and you'll get to hear a "little" about my story.  The video they are using is from when I first got into the Challenge back in August... so it says I've lost 55lbs which isn't correct anymore since I've gained some weight back.  IT'S OK though... I'm back on track and I'll get that weight off again plus more!
So far week one is going good!  I've had a great healthy eating day today and am headed to they gym after work to get this sweatfest started!!!!


I am Second

These videos are SO powerful. There are no words to even describe them.

This little girl is amazing!!

To view more videos visit I Am Second

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Second Chance.... I'm in the Weight Loss Challenge!!!

If you've followed my blog for a while you know that last August I auditioned for Kansas City Fitness Magazine's Weight Loss Challenge.  I got voted in {thanks to lots of votes from friends/family/strangers on Facebook}!  I ended up not being able to participate- you can read why here.  When I backed out of the challenge they told me they'd hold my spot for Round 5, so I've known I'd be participating, I just had to keep it a secret for a LONG time!
This morning my journey started with the other 12 contestants.  I know this is going to be an exciting 12 weeks for all of us and I hope we can be there to encourage, support and motivate one another.  The challenge is set up like the Biggest Loser this round, so people will get voted off!  That adds a little more pressure, but I think it's a "good" kind of pressure to keep us all on track.  I am needing some major motivation so I'm really looking forward to this opportunity!
Starting weight- 217 lbs
When I was getting ready to leave this morning another contestant walked up to me and said "Amy, do I look familiar to you?"  She did in fact, I recognized her from the moment I walked in but couldn't place where I may have known her from.  Well, she remembered.  She said "Did you audition for the Biggest Loser a few years ago?"  I knew right away that was exactly where I knew her from!  We both got called back for 2nd interviews in Oklahoma City and I met her in the hotel foyer while waiting for our interviews with the casting directors!  I couldn't believe it was her!!  I remember her being SO nice and thinking to myself "She's SO IN this season"... she told me she'd thought the same thing about me!  How ironic!  She made it much farther than me but didn't make it on the show.  {She SO should have}  This morning I told her "If Biggest Loser didn't want us lets show them what we're made of then!"  I think participating in this challenge together is going to be so awesome!  Isn't it funny how God places people in your life and then brings them back full circle?  I knew right then that even though I'm so busy right now and overwhelmed with life in general that God intended for me to be a part of THIS Round.  Round 5 was the round I was meant to do.  I'm going to give it my all and get under 200 lbs... once and for all!