Sunday, January 22, 2012

Hello Grant- Birth Story

I can't believe my little boy is 11 weeks old.  It seems like yesterday that we were preparing for his birth.  I spent a lot of time researching and preparing for the natural labor I wanted... yes, drugs.  Some may call me crazy but the more research I did the more I knew that a natural labor was exactly what I wanted.
Lots of people tell you to not waste your time on a birth plan, it'll just be thrown out the window the second you arrive at the hospital.  Well, mine got thrown out around 32 weeks.  I had been measuring 2 weeks big since I was 20 weeks or so, so at 32 weeks my doctor suggested we do an ultrasound to check on our little boy and make sure he wasn't too big.  I was worried about size, little did I know I would soon be worried about something much different.  He was perfectly healthy, all his major organs  functioning, he had all his fingers and toes... but he was frank breech.  Frank breech is when the baby's head and feet are at the top the uterus and his bottom was in my pelvis.  It is nearly impossible to turn a frank breech baby... but I tried!  I had been seeing a Chiropractor who specializes in Pregnancy/Babies since I was 8 weeks pregnant and she did the Webster Method.  The Webster Method is usually very effective in turning breech babies, if they are "traditional" breech.  We tried anyways and I did inversions at home, pressure points, walking, etc... nothing worked.  At 37 weeks we scheduled a c-section for 2 weeks later...
I was devastated. 
I was scared. 
I was excited to meet my son but I was "armed" for a natural birth, and my husband and I were ready to take on that challenge.  We knew that we would never be "prepared" for labor, but we were not anticipating a c-section, and the idea of having a surgery was terrifying for me.  I'd never had surgery, never been in an operating room... so this was a whole new kind of scary.  I spent the next month worrying about it, but trying not to spend too much time focusing on the surgery.  I kept having to remind myself I'M HAVING A BABY... as scary as a c-section was for me I had to remind myself that I was going to end up holding my precious baby boy, and all the fear would be worth it.  Two days before surgery I finally let it all go, I cried and cried and cried.  I told my husband everything I was afraid of, and once I did it's like I set my fears free.  I was able to breathe again, and I was finally refocused on the precious life that had been growing inside of me... and I was about to meet him. 
The night before...SO ready to meet this baby!
We had to be at the hospital at 5:30am on Monday morning, November 7, 2011.  I didn't sleep at all the night before.  I went to the bathroom every 20-30 minutes (no exaggeration) so I wasn't able to sleep soundly.  I was nervous and excited and for the first time I felt ready
Ready for the c-section.
Ready for the unknown.
Ready to become a Mother.
When we got to the hospital we were taken to our room and we waited.  It seemed like forever but finally the nurses came in and got the "party" started.  They got my IV started and I was put in a gown and then the OB who would be doing my c-section came in to make sure my son was still breech.  I can remember thinking to myself, he'd better still be breech!  I'm here now, I'm all hooked up and ready to go... we're having this baby today via c-section whether he's breech or not cause that's what I am prepared for!!  He was still breech, I had no doubt.
Last picture of me pregnant.  I was so ready to meet him.
Kevin waiting to join me in the operating room.  Mom & Dad ready to meet their grandson.
Two hours later it was time.  Time for my life to change forever.  Time to leave our family of 2 & become a family of 3.  I felt very calm, I was nervous, but excited and ready to hold my baby.  I was taken back by myself to get my spinal.  That's what I was so nervous about and it was the only part my husband couldn't be in there for.  There was a student nurse who held my hand and I can remember gripping her so tightly I apologized... I was trying to relax everything in my body but I was holding on for dear life as they were doing the spinal.  Within seconds of getting it I was NUMB.  They told me I'd feel my legs getting warm and they barely got that sentence out and they were warm and I had no feeling.  They laid me back and my entire body was warm and numb.  Weirdest feeling ever.  I think they gave me a little too much... I couldn't feel my cheeks and was very dizzy.  I can remember feeling like I was on a roller coaster but I was very calm, almost like I was drunk.  There was a point I got scared because I knew I didn't look right and my husband wasn't in the room yet.  I kept thinking "pull yourself together so you don't scare Kevin".... yeah right.  There was no "pulling myself together"... I was super drugged up:(  Kevin was finally allowed to come in and they began the c-section.  We prayed (Kevin prayed) for a safe delivery and asked God to be with us.  Within a few moments I heard the most beautiful sound...
MY baby crying... MY baby. 
I was now a mother... and I will never be the same.

Grant Thomas was born at 7:50am.  He weighed 8 lbs 8 oz and was 19 inches long.
An incredible miracle!  But no way was he turning with his legs like that!
Our new family!
Kevin went over to be with our son while they completed the c-section.  I don't remember a lot from that day but I do remember Kevin coming over SO excited to tell me that our son had a dimple:)  I couldn't wait to see it! 
I was taken to recovery where I was able to spend the first moments with both of my boys as a family.  I fell in love with my husband all over again that day.  I couldn't believe our love for each other created such a perfect and precious life.  I was soaking it all in... I couldn't believe that this miracle was living inside of me... and now he was here, in my arms.  I have never felt so blessed.
SO much love for him... I cannot believe I'm a Mother.
The two loves of my life!
Isn't he cute?:)
The first day I didn't feel well at all.  I had to stay laying down all day and couldn't eat anything except ice chips (you can't eat anything after a c-section until you have a bowel movement).  The ice chips were even making me nauseous so I finally had to eat just a few at a time cause I was so thirsty and my mouth was dry.  That evening I got up on the side of the bed, I had to push myself to do that but I had been told by friends who have had c-sections that the sooner you get up and around the better off you'll be so I made myself sit up. The following morning I was able to shower (yes!) and they also took off my bandage.  It felt awesome to shower and eat some breakfast!
We were in the hospital for 4 days.  I know a lot of people are ready to leave but I found it comforting to be there.  I loved one of the nurses I had and she was so helpful and supportive I wanted to bring her home with us!  Grant had dropped 12% in weight so leaving was a little scary for us hoping that we'd be able to get him back to his birth weight soon. (I'll write a post on this soon)
Ready to go home!
It seems like yesterday that we were awaiting his arrival.  Everyday he amazes me more and more and I can't imagine my life without him. 
He has given me purpose. 
He has given me more joy and happiness than I ever dreamed I could feel. 
He is the greatest "accident" that's ever happened to me.  God knew exactly what He was doing, and it was no "accident" that I became a Mother. 
Before Grant came along I wondered if I was meant to be a Mother.  There is no doubt in my mind I was.  There is nowhere else I'd rather be and nothing else I'd rather be doing right now.  My life is so blessed and I thank God everyday for the miracle of our baby boy.

*Thank you to Tara, our Doula, for the awesome pictures from that day.  You captured moments we never could have.

1 comment:

maria said...

Congratulations to you both. He is gorgeous!
Maria x