Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Old Lost in the New

I find myself wishing this sweet moment could be bottled up.  I want to stay here forever.  Hold you.  Forever.  The nights you snuggle in to me and say "Mommy" over and over... these are the nights I know I will miss.  I'm so incredibly in love with you baby boy.
Kissing your sweet cheeks over and over is something I can hardly control.  And, sometimes I do it a few more times just because I know someday {sooner than I want to admit} you might push me away from those sweet cheeks.  The right cheek with the perfect dimple that is a reminder that God blesses us in the most unexpected ways... and it's good.  It's always good.

Being a Mommy is something I feared for SO long.  Living with an eating disorder had me fearing what my body would turn into, instead of looking forward to the amazing blessing of holding a baby in my arms.  My own baby.  Our baby. 
Our "baby" is two years old now and tonight I was sorting through maternity clothes and my Mommy gut started yearning for that baby all over again.  Remembering a time when we were looking forward to our first baby, not having the slightest clue how much our lives would change.  How much we wouldn't miss the days gone by.  We love those memories but a day before him hardly matters these days because he is our everything.  Our love created this beautiful life that is ornery, adorable, smart, handsome, caring and the love of our lives. 

Living INTENTIONAL in 2014 starts with being a Mom who is engaged.  Not just "here" but really HERE.  I want to soak up the little everyday moments that I will wish I could bring back someday.  This means putting my phone away more and picking up a truck or a train and joining him on his little journey.  It means going up and down an escalator because he thinks it's hilarious, and so fun.  It means bringing snow in the kitchen because it's way too cold to play outside. 
Who cares about the mess. 
Who cares if it lasts for 3 minutes. 
A lot of memories can be made in 3 minutes. 
Hope you intentionally loved someone a little more today.  I tried to.


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